I recently learned that earthlings tie strings around their fingers to remember little things. So then, logically, people on Earth must wear neckties to remember big things. The importance of the matter must therefore correlate with the location of the knot around the body – the highest level of discomfort being of utmost importance. Since people now set reminders into their phones, I predict the disappearance of the necktie from earthly fashion in the years to come, except perhaps when someone needs to remember where they put their phone.

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